Not always saying NO!

I had an epiphany tonight! Bella asked if I would read her a book to go to bed ( we stayed up late to watch Tinkerbell together, this was about 11pm) I said "no, it's too late". Then she asked if I would put on classical music and I said "no, you have Lucy (our dog) you will be fine.". As I was getting ready for bed myself a voice said "one day she won't want you to read her a book, and when she is a teenager you can't go back in time and read her all the books you said no to because of one reason or another". I thought, well it is probably too late she is probably already asleep. I went to check and she was still awake trying to fall asleep. So to her surprise I read her a book. After she let me snuggle her (which she usually pushes me away, or squirms out of me snuggling her, but not this time) I silently cried wishing I could always have this moment. Then i realized I just need to remember to take advantage of these moments when they are available so that there will be so many of them she and I will have fond memories of reading books and snuggling! I then got up from her bed, turned Pandora onto the classical station on my phone, set it on her nightstand, and went to bed. I think i finally realized being a good Mom is giving them the little things they ask for not always saying no. 

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Big Sister's French art themed 7th birthday!

Finally things are slowing down a bit for me to catch back up with you all. I didn't want things to go too long before I got back but it has been a couple of weeks. Well we are finally recovering from her birthday then last weekend we went to Sea World and spent way too much money! BUT we will be able to go back as we got season passes and we are going to use those puppies till the kids beg to not go back LOL! So I wanted to share some photos from her party and tips on how I made things as well. 

We invited some of her friends over to spend the night. I think next time we will have them spend the night the night of the party because we were worn out before the party even started as they stayed up till 3 AM!!! HA HA HA Silly girls!

I made these cute "trees" while the kid's ate. They were made with pots I got at Ikea I filled them with some gravel I got at Ikea as well. Then hot glued colored pom poms from the dollar store onto sticks that Big Sister and her Papa collected. Super easy and cute! I got to reuse them in her room after the party!

This was the craft we did with the girls who spend the night. I got them from the dollar store they were super easy and the girls liked them! 

We had pizza which was awesome as I didn't have to make it and could work on some party stuff while they ate. 

This was Big sister's first sleepover at our house so she was super excited! Her first sleepover at a friend's was with the friend in the photo above on the right. 

These were the books I read to them to try to get them to go to sleep! ;)

I made this sign the night before the party out of poster board and Bella's markers. Then cut it out put some hole punches in and hung from our "laundry room" curtains. I really liked how it turned out!

About two weeks before the party I had Big Sister help me make this wreath for the door. We used buckets with acrylic paint and a little water. We mixed the water and paint well then put coffee filters in the paint until they were saturated then squeezed out the excess water. Then we laid them in stacks and let them dry for an hour. Came back and realized that they weren't drying that fast so I stuck all of them in the dryer on the lowest setting and dried them for about 20 min. KEEP AN EYE ON THEM AS THEY COULD BURN! Once they were dried I busted out the hot glue gun and glued them onto a styrofoam wreath. I folded some in half and folded some in quarters so that they would look like flowers. 

Around the same time we did the wreath we also did these streamers we just cut them from construction paper and stapled them to the ceiling. The triangles were already painted on our walls as our home decor but it fits in with the whole art theme. 

A couple of days before I did this fun chalkboard for our front door so people could easily see it in the hall and know which apartment was ours. I wrapped it in cellophane to keep the kids from messing with it and accidentally erasing it.

At the party we did a lot of art! My father in law said it was one of the funniest parties he had ever been to! The kids seemed to have a lot of fun too! 

 We had different stations that we set up in our courtyard in the back of our apartment which is VERY spacious! I made these little signs from a print off etsy and some holders that I got from Ikea. 

This is my Niece she did this painting all on her own, she is amazingly talented! HA HA HA not really her momma did it but isn't it super creative!? Love it!! 

This is a detailed image of the painting Bella did (above). 

Here is the full version! PRETTY FREAKING AWESOME! I was running around like a chicken with my head cut off and I stopped and saw this painting and said out loud "Wow that is really cool I like that, who did that?!" No one knew at the moment but I later found out that it was Big Sister's!! GREAT JOB sweetie!! 

The kids also painted cookies with the help of my Mom who is a professional cookie painter! Check out her awesome stuff on her website here : Fine Arts Bakery. 

 This is a close up of the cookie that Big Sister painted (above). 

 I also made Beret's for all the kids! We had quite a few not show up so we have a lot left over so if you would like some let me know I can sell them to you!! They came out really cute and the kids LOVED them! 

The kids also helped make the lemonade that was infused with Lavender. Something that I should have made the night before so that it was ready for when the guests came.  But then I wouldn't have gotten these cute little photo ops! 

 

We had a lot of food and it was sooooo yummy! My Mom made the cake and the cupcakes! 

We ordered two sushi trays from Roll On Sushi here in our apartments, soooo yummy you have to try their Texas inspired rolls- AMAZING! So I am a sucker and when I asked Big Sister what kind of food she wanted she said "sushi". The I tried to explain to her that sushi is from Japan not France but she replied "but it's fancy like France". HA HA HA who can argue with that reasoning!?

I made macarons I finally got it right after 3 failed batches. I think if I had a fatter tip I could have gotten them PERFECT looking too but they tasted pretty darn good! 

My little "French artist" birthday girl.

The cake was a collaberation bettween my daughter and mother. Big Sister painted on the bottom tier some things and then my Mom came in and added more french inspired decor to it. It was SUPER yummy! And Gluten free so I got to eat some too! Then the next day we met up with some gluten free friends that couldn't make it to the party and shared some cake as there was a lot left over and if it would have stayed at our house I would have eaten it all. I have no self control when it comes to cake!! 

I made this little sign for our awesome lemonade and taped it on with washi tape (LOVE THAT STUFF) !

A little scene shot from what the room looked like with our friends and family hanging out and getting their food. It was a lot of fun!!

My Husband dressed up as a Mime (we bought a mime shirt at a party store along with the makeup, he already had black pants and used a beret that I had made for the kids). He watched mime videos on you tube for a couple of weeks before and had practiced. It was soooo cute! The kids LOVED it! 

Family photo time! 

 And as I promised, baby wearing a beret! ADORABLE!!

Soylent Green is Gluten free!

So a couple of nights ago I was sitting around talking with my family and we started joking about me being gluten free and then it dawned on me "Soylent green is gluten free"!! If you haven't seen the movie at least google it pretty funny stuff! Well I made a shirt and you can buy it here...

http://www.redbubble.com/people/jessicamonnich/works/10183916-soylent-green-is-gluten-free

Artist's way journey: week 1

 

   About a week ago I decided I wanted to read Artist's Way by Julia Cameron again. I have read it 3 times and each time it brings me closer to my creative self. So I decided to start a book club on Instagram with some wonderful women I have met on there! I thought it would be a fun way to connect with them and read the same book as they all live in different states. I look forward to seeing what comes out of it! The cool thing is with Instagram you can actually see what people are doing! I also started a hashtag so they could tag the photos related to the group so we could check in with each other. If you want to see them you can look up #instagramcreativebookclub . After this one I would like to pick out another book for us all to read, one step at a time! ;)

   So what brought this on was recently I have been feeling a shift in my life and I could quite put a finger on what I am suppose to do or where I am suppose to go. And it is a MAGOR shift that would rock me to the core of who I am or at least who I was identifying myself as.

   I shared with my husband that over the last year I have slowly been loosing my passion for photography. Which is INSANE I LIVED, ATE, BREATHED photography! I have been photographing weddings for 10+ years! But about 2 years ago I felt a little voice ask me if I would give it all up. "HA!" I thought "but this is how we fill in the gaps with our income! This is how I can afford to stay home!" I brushed it off but it has been lingering ever since.

   Two weeks ago my sister in law invited me to a yoga under the stars night. I went with my girls, my Mom, Dad, my husband, EVERYONE! It was pretty chilly and DARK! We had brought blankets for the girls but I had forgot to ask my Dad to bring a yoga roll for Big Sister. So she wasn't really focusing and was bouncing around (which she loves yoga and would have done it if there was a mat or blanket to do yoga on). It was also dark as I mentioned before so my husband was having a hard time trying to feed Baby Kitty her food. So they packed up everything and went to the car. Needless to say it was REALLLY hard to pay attention and focus.

   Then we came to "happy baby" pose which is my FAVORITE, really helps your back! Just then the family walks by to go sit back in their spots and were snickering that I was doing this and how I looked like Baby Kitty. Which made me want to do it more because when she does it I just sit there and smile at her. So after that last pose the teacher takes us into meditation. And for me I use this as a time to listen to God. And BOY did he have some things to say!

  In summary he said that I have been holding on sooooo tightly to something that he never really called me to do. I was just doing it because everyone else thought I was good at it and I wanted to please everyone so I settled and became a photographer. Also did I ever wonder why doors were not flying open but the opposite was happening, drama after drama seemed to find it's way to me. He said that if I would let go he would bring something even greater to me. The last time he said something like this he gave me my husband so I perked up.

   He said I had to let go. I started to cry! He said that it was ok to cry but to know that who I am is not a "photographer" I am more than that. He told me to trust him. WOW...... WOW..... even now it is hard to write this! I am not sure of the legistics of this other than I am going to obviously finish the work that I am contracted for and that I have said I would do but after that I think I will stick to doing it as favors to friends and family. It was always fun to do that :).

   Today I read the first chapter of Artist's Way and was BLOWN away. Mind you I have read it 3 times so you think it wouldn't shock me. But the things she was saying where SPOT on for my situation!
 
Here are a couple of things I took away from this week's chapter...

1. "We tend to think, or at least fear, that creative dreams are egotistical, something that God wouldn't approve of for us.....If our mom or dad expressed doubt or disapproval for our creative dreams, we may project that same attitude onto a parental god. This thinking must be undone."

    WOW! So when I was a teenager I wanted to become a singer. I sang everyday all day! And I talked to my Dad about it and he said "What makes you think you are any different than all the other people out there trying to be musicians?" Which in my fledgling creative state this CRUSHED me (not to mention many other blows that followed made sure this dream NEVER amounted to ANYTHING)! I was thinking about that today and thought I finally have an answer to that question! "Everyone has a song and there is someone that will like it and want to hear it. I have my own voice and it is unique and different than anyone else. I have lived a life that is different than anyone else therefore I have different inspiration to draw from to create different songs than anyone else. So what makes me different!? I do!" :)
   Don't get me wrong my parents are VERY loving people and have whole heartedly supported me being a photographer! They loaned me money to buy a LOT of expensive photography equipment. They also helped us countless times when bills were tight. So in no means am I trying to disrespect them or "stick it to the man" and I am SOOOOOO thankful for all the encouragement and support they gave me as a photographer! They want us to be able to support ourselves which is TOTALLY understandable! And up until this moment in our lives this very decision wasn't possible. My husband just recently got a raise making this decision a lot softer blow for us.

2. "... as we pull our overextended and misplaced creative energy back into our own core. We begin to excavate our buried dreams. This is a tricky process. Some of our dreams are very volatile, and the mere act of brushing them off sends an enormous surge of energy bolting through our denial system. Such grief! Such loss! Such pain! It is at this point in the recovery process that we make what Robert Bly calls a "decent into ashes. " We mourn the self we abandoned. We greet this self as we might greet a lover at the end of a long and costly war. To effect a creative recovery, we must undergo a time of mourning. In dealing with the suicide of the "nice" self we have been making do with, we find a certain amount of grief to be essential. Our tears prepare the ground for our future growth. Without this creative moistening , we may remain barren. We must allow the bolt of pain to strike us. Remember, this is useful pain; lightning illuminates."

   WOW again! I had the yoga experience before I even read this passage (It has been at least 7 years since I have read it last)!!

3. "- Stop telling yourself , 'It's too late' - Stop waiting until you make enough money to do something you'd really love. - Stop telling yourself, 'It's just my ego' whenever you yearn for a more creative life. - Stop telling yourself that dreams don't mater, that they are only dreams and that you should be more sensible. - Stop fearing that your family and friends would think your crazy. - Stop telling yourself that creativity is a luxury and that you should be greatful for what you've got."

   AMEN! I am 32 years old I am not too old to pursue music and other creative ideas/ventures! I am also not a little girl anymore to where I need to be afraid of what my family (or friends) think. I can dream and I can live a more creative life!

   So needless to say I am SUPER excited to read through this book and to experience this journey with other creative people! I will try to write weekly what is going on. And yes I am still trying to loose weight as well! On that front I have lost 8 lbs!! YAY!

Cd cover art

If you are anything like me and my husband you have a million CDs sitting in a closet being ignored. So what should you do with all that art work!? Well make more art of course! :)

A while back I made this collage (several years ago!) and I wanted to update it but not totally cover the art like some of the ones on Pinterest. Also I couldn't think of a short catch phrase that I liked enough. So I went with a heart and then I wouldn't have to buy stickers etc.

So I watered down the paint and painted a heart in the middle then painted the rest of the canvas. Super simple and now something I am super excited to display!

Behind my "before"

I didn't want to do this but I knew I needed to! I think having accountability to my friends, family and others looking on will keep me going! About the pictures, they are pretty bad! In my "defense" I have had two kids. My oldest i had in 2005 and my youngest last year in October.
I don't know if this is too personal but I was pregnant from December of 10' - February 11' also (making me pregnant for a year altogether!) But I had a miscarriage. The first one I have ever had. I remember the moment it happened and how panicked I was. The doctor got me in the next day. They did the sonogram and there was no sign of a baby. We went back to see the doctor and she was sooooo kind! She explained to me that there wasn't anything they could do. She offered me tissues and a hug. It was early enough on in the pregnancy that I didn't have to have surgery and I didn't feel it move. I can't imagine how painful it would be to loose a baby at the end feeling it move and then nothing! My heart goes out to all those mommas!! I went to see a movie after it all happened with my Mom to "get my mind off it" and there was a scene where the actress has a miscarriage (we didn't realize that was going to happen). My mom and I were balls of mess and she held my hand and stroked it like she did when I was little. It was such a beautiful moment with her.
The good news was two weeks later I was pregnant again! She went full term (well she was a week early) and is a beautiful healthy baby and I thank GOD for her everyday!!!
Back to our topic (sorry for the bunny trail), all my life I have struggled with my weight! When I was a teenager I weighed about 200. Then when I became a young adult I went on a missions trip overseas and saw how small the portions were compared to ours. I started eating that way and lost almost 50 lbs in 6 months! I also started running during that time. I got water under my knee which I ended up needing to wear a cast. Unfamiliar with sports injuries and in a foreign country where I didn't speak the language I was scared to say the least! Thankfully the water went away after about a month in a cast. And I started running again. Oh no it wasn't the cast that stopped me from running.
What stopped me was LOVE believe it or not! When I met the love of my life I stopped waking up early to run because I was staying up late to talk and snuggle with him. So it is all his fault!!!! ;) he was the one that wanted the"sexy kitty" pose in the "before" pictures below :). He is such a sweetheart! He has loved me through all of this and I am soooooooooo thankful for him and grow more and more in love with him everyday!
My mother reminded me, I have lost weight before and I can do it again. This time I am going to write about my thoughts and feelings as well as recipes I find and tweek. And you can trust if I share a recipe that it is good because I didn't get fat eating rice cakes ;).
Just be forewarned bunny trails and too much information are pretty much gaurenteed!! Welcome to my journey, lets go for a ride!

Gluten free mini apple pies

Even my husband who doesn't like apple pie couldn't stop gobbling these up!


Mini apple pies
Filling ingredients-
-3 apples peeled and cored
-1 tbs coconut oil
- 1 cup applesauce
- 1 tbs honey
- 1 tbsp agave
- 2 tbs flaxseed
- 4 tbsp Ella's kitchen baby food mix - butternut squash, carrots, apples, prunes (weird but sooo good and helps to sneak in veggies)
- 1 tbsp lemon juice

Gluten free crust ingredients-
- 2 cups of Pamela's bread mix
- 7 tbs butter chilled
-2 tbs coconut oil
- about 1/2 cup cold water
- 1 egg for an egg wash

1. Preheat oven to 350

2. Cut apples into cubes

3. Mix with lemon juice

4 . Melt coconut oil. Put apples in pan and sauté apples for about 5 min. Then mix in remaining apple ingredients cook on low for about 30 min stirring occasionally.

5. While apples are cooking prepare the crust. Put flour, butter, and room temp coconut oil in a large bowl. Using a pastry cutter or two knives cut the butter and coconut oil into the flour.

6. Using your hands slowly mix in the cold water. If you add too much and it's sticky add more flour if it is too dry add more cold water.

7. Pat into a ball and place in the fridge. Cover for 30 min.

8. Take dough out of fridge and pat in between two sheets of wax/parchment paper. Using a rolling pin roll the dough out till it is less than an inch thick.

9. Using a baby jar or small circle cookie cutter cut out 24 circles. Spray mini muffin tin with your preferred spay, I used olive oil spray. Put dough circles into the bottom of a mini muffin tin. We squished them up the sides a bit to give it a "pie" look.

10. Then take your scraps make a ball and pat it out again between the two sheets and roll it out again. Cut 24 more circles.

11. Put about a tablespoon of apple mixture ontop of the "bottom pie shells".

12. Place remaining 24 circles ontop of the pies. Cut two slits in each pie crust to vent.

13. Cook mini pies for 30 min.

14. I scrambled an egg and brushed it on top of all the pies and cooked them for 5 more min.

15. Remove from oven let cool for 10 min and enjoy! Try not to eat them all in one night!