Behind my "before"

I didn't want to do this but I knew I needed to! I think having accountability to my friends, family and others looking on will keep me going! About the pictures, they are pretty bad! In my "defense" I have had two kids. My oldest i had in 2005 and my youngest last year in October.
I don't know if this is too personal but I was pregnant from December of 10' - February 11' also (making me pregnant for a year altogether!) But I had a miscarriage. The first one I have ever had. I remember the moment it happened and how panicked I was. The doctor got me in the next day. They did the sonogram and there was no sign of a baby. We went back to see the doctor and she was sooooo kind! She explained to me that there wasn't anything they could do. She offered me tissues and a hug. It was early enough on in the pregnancy that I didn't have to have surgery and I didn't feel it move. I can't imagine how painful it would be to loose a baby at the end feeling it move and then nothing! My heart goes out to all those mommas!! I went to see a movie after it all happened with my Mom to "get my mind off it" and there was a scene where the actress has a miscarriage (we didn't realize that was going to happen). My mom and I were balls of mess and she held my hand and stroked it like she did when I was little. It was such a beautiful moment with her.
The good news was two weeks later I was pregnant again! She went full term (well she was a week early) and is a beautiful healthy baby and I thank GOD for her everyday!!!
Back to our topic (sorry for the bunny trail), all my life I have struggled with my weight! When I was a teenager I weighed about 200. Then when I became a young adult I went on a missions trip overseas and saw how small the portions were compared to ours. I started eating that way and lost almost 50 lbs in 6 months! I also started running during that time. I got water under my knee which I ended up needing to wear a cast. Unfamiliar with sports injuries and in a foreign country where I didn't speak the language I was scared to say the least! Thankfully the water went away after about a month in a cast. And I started running again. Oh no it wasn't the cast that stopped me from running.
What stopped me was LOVE believe it or not! When I met the love of my life I stopped waking up early to run because I was staying up late to talk and snuggle with him. So it is all his fault!!!! ;) he was the one that wanted the"sexy kitty" pose in the "before" pictures below :). He is such a sweetheart! He has loved me through all of this and I am soooooooooo thankful for him and grow more and more in love with him everyday!
My mother reminded me, I have lost weight before and I can do it again. This time I am going to write about my thoughts and feelings as well as recipes I find and tweek. And you can trust if I share a recipe that it is good because I didn't get fat eating rice cakes ;).
Just be forewarned bunny trails and too much information are pretty much gaurenteed!! Welcome to my journey, lets go for a ride!